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How To Make Money Online
The Absolute State Of Money Twitter
Are you tired of seeing people dumber than you make money online?
Are you completely incapable of putting real money and time into building an actual business or learning an actual skill?
Are you looking for a way to make money despite having absolutely nothing of value to sell?
Worry no more!
This article will teach you everything you need to know about making money online.
1) Get On Your Knees
If you’re reading this article, there’s a very good chance that nobody knows who you are online. And nobody cares either, because you have nothing of value to provide.
To start, you’ll need a Twitter account to build up a base following.
Make sure you have notifications on. Get ready to drop everything to instantly like and retweet content from influencers with large audiences.
Feed their egos routinely and give them a dopamine rush.
Tip: Never disagree with influencers because you run the risk of getting blocked.
Always agree and amplify.
If you do this often enough, you will not go unnoticed.
Next, you’ll need to outlay some initial capital to either buy a course or join an inner circle.
Find a Twitter guru who can use your testimonial as social proof in their landing page.
They can’t be too small, or else you’ve wasted your money on someone with no reach. They can’t be too big either, because there’s a chance they’ll ignore you.
Put on your kneepads and give their overpriced PDF or exorbitantly-priced group chat a glowing five-star review. Make sure to thank them in a thread. Attribute every ounce of your alleged success to their influence.
Congratulations. You’ve just bought yourself some exposure and a new friend. Get used to circlejerking. You’ll be doing this daily.
2) Change Your Origin Story
Even if people have heard of you, nobody actually cares about you.
They only care about what you can do for them.
So you need to start highlighting how far you’ve supposedly come, so they can imagine themselves making a similar drastic change under your guidance.
Begin falsifying how difficult your life once was. Hide the fact that you grew up in a middle-class, suburban family, and exaggerate your pain points.
Tell them how you were dirt broke. Living in a roach-infested dorm room. Starving. Working a soul-crushing minimum wage job with no end in sight.
Learn how to elicit strong emotions from your audience. And then show them the stark comparison to where you are today.
The methods you preach will seem miraculous if you magnify how far you’ve come in such little time.
Your dim-witted followers will think that even if they can replicate 5% of your success, then it will be a worthwhile endeavour.
3) Fake It And Pretend You’ve Made It
Getting real results takes time, money, effort, trial and error, and so much more.
Who has the time to wait? Start faking your success today.
Steal the content for your course from credible sources like books, podcasts and blogs. Wherever you can’t steal, just improvise. Your audience aren’t subject expert matters and won’t ever find out.
Once the course content is done, start hitting the social proof. There are countless ways to do this.
Using one simple trick (hitting F12 in your internet browser), you can inspect element your way to 7-figures in Shopify revenue. Neat!
Not bothered to grow your audience by posting insightful tweets, such as reminding them to drink water? Simply buy followers and make yourself appear more successful than you are!
Does someone you know own an expensive car, boat or holiday house? Tell your followers it belongs to you. They won’t know the difference.
Or, lease a supercar for a day. Make sure to take photos in different locations wearing different outfits so you have content to post for a while.
Travel to poor countries with tropical climates so you can live like a king. Don’t forget to have a photo of you with a laptop by the pool or else you won’t make it.
Buy designer clothing and record your whole journey in and outside of the store, but silently return it the next day and order replica clothing instead.
You can even take it as far as posing in a fake private jet.
The possibilities are truly endless and only limited to your own imagination.
4) Enjoy your newfound wealth
Congratulations! If you’ve followed the steps above, you should be making a lot of money online.
You’ve come a long way, from having to slave away for likes and retweets and buying other people’s courses for their friendship.
Now, you’re in high-level, top-secret engagement groups where everyone likes and retweets each other. People are buying your course in a desperate attempt to win your friendship.
As long as you have new suckers falling for your narrative and buying your course, and this figure outnumbers the amount of people who refund it, you should consistently be able to make money online.
A few reminders:
Make sure to stay on top of whatever’s fresh and trending so you never go stale. Dropshipping, Amazon FBA and Forex are old news. High-ticket sales, agencies and copywriting have remained relevant.
Make sure you always share how much revenue you’ve made, not a useful metric like net profit.
If you’re young, share how old you are and how much money you’ve made in sales to short-circuit people’s brains.
Use scarcity and deadlines as a tactic to strike feat into people and motivate them to act. 10 left!
When your tweets don’t get any engagement, never admit that your Tweets suck. Claim you’re being shadowbanned by Twitter and silenced for voicing the truth.
Use Hypefury so nobody can escape your presence. Regardless of whether you’re taking a nap or having a shower, the presence of your Twitter account will be ever present to your followers.
Delete Tweets that contradict with claims, and if you’ve said too much and don’t want to get called out, consider nuking your account and getting suspended to bury the evidence.
Finally, don’t spend all of your newfound wealth in one place.
If you liked this article, I’m building a brotherhood of like-minded NEETs and aspiring NEETs.
Join the Discord.
Until next time, frens.
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